Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold. The loss of a pet can be emotionally devastating. Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. (The Humane Society of the United States), Euthanasia of a Beloved Pet – Better understand and deal with euthanasia. As long as you’re putting your beloved pet to sleep for the right reasons, tell your children that it is OK to feel sad, but there’s no need to feel guilty. I’m deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your friend and pet. The experience of losing a pet isn’t easy – it’s one of the cruelest facts of life that we continually outlive our beloved dogs and cats.. Others find that their grief is more cyclical, coming in waves, or a series of highs and lows. In most cases, it’s best to mourn the old pet first, and wait until you’re emotionally ready to open your heart and your home to a new animal. When you know someone who has just lost a pet, offer your sympathy and support. Your pet may move its legs or breathe deeply several times after the drug is given, but these are reflexes and don’t mean that your pet is in pain or is suffering. I could picture myself arriving home from work, opening the door and finding that little friend who for so many years, every day of his life, had waited patiently to greet me and rub against my legs, pleading to be stroked. Let your child see you express your own grief at the loss of the pet. Involve your child in the dying process. Generally, the more significant your pet was to you, the more intense the emotional pain you’ll feel. Dogs experience grief and … This could be a special photograph, or a plaster cast of the animal’s paw print, for example. For pet owners, the loss of a pet is more than just the loss of an animal, it’s also the loss of a friend and companion. Thus, although the loss of a pet will affect each of us differently, it is an experience that most of us will have in common at some point in our lives. They are always there for us, no matter what kind of mood we are in. Try to fill that time by volunteering, picking up a long-neglected hobby, taking a class, helping friends, rescue groups, or homeless shelters care for their animals, or even by getting another pet when the time feels right. Is your pet experiencing pain and suffering which outweigh any pleasure and enjoyment in life? (Recover-from-grief.com), End of Life Care – Coping with the impending loss of a pet. Late one night, about a month ago, the time finally came. Photo Gifts. This is an individual decision for each member of the family. The size of your pet has no bearing on the amount of love you have for it. Deciding to put your animal companion to sleep is one of the most difficult decisions you will ever have to make for your pet. Feeling sad, shocked, or lonely is a normal reaction to the loss of a beloved pet. Try to spend time with at least one person every day. Regular face-to-face contact can help you ward off depression and stay positive. help you to overcome setbacks and challenges in life. Loss of a pet – when my best friend passes. Dreams have been described as dress rehearsals for real life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and a form of nocturnal therapy. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Losing a dog is tough, but hopefully pet mourners can find comfort in these quotes about dog loss. If you’re sad, and deal with that sadness in a healthy way, your child will follow your example. Holding a funeral or creating a memorial for the pet can help your child express their feelings openly and help process the loss. lost a pet and had to deal with it myself. Do what feels right for you. My deepest … Losing a pet can leave significant voids in our life that we need to fill: it can change our daily routines, causing ripple effects that go far beyond the loss … In my case, I discovered that I'd almost never been alone in my current home. Do not rush out to get the child a “replacement pet” before they’ve had a chance to grieve the loss they feel. Seek out others who have lost pets; those who can appreciate the magnitude of your loss, and may be able to suggest ways of getting through the grieving process. Similarly, because our society regards animals as more like things than people—commodities that can be bought, owned, and sold—mourning a pet as though it were a human family member can seem melodramatic. Helping children grieve the loss of a pet. Loss of a pet can potentially trigger mental health issues in children Date: September 10, 2020 Source: Massachusetts General Hospital Summary: The death of a family pet … If you’ve lost a hamster, guinea pig, rabbit, fish, parrot, bird, or some other type of pet, you will miss his or her presence in your life and those quiet moments that you shared. Shop Trending Categories. The death of a pet can hit retired seniors even harder than younger adults who may be able to draw on the comfort of a close family, or distract themselves with the routine of work. Children tend to feed off of how their parents react. There are different forms of loss. Some people find grief following the loss of a pet comes in stages, where they experience different feelings such as denial, anger, guilt, depression, and eventually acceptance and resolution. Response to care and affection. Check out online message boards, pet loss hotlines, and pet loss support groups—see the Resources section below for details. This shouldn't be pushed aside as nonsense, because the pain they feel is real. My biggest connection to him was when I hit rock bottom with my depression. 5 out of 5 stars (943) 943 reviews $ 28.00 FREE shipping Favorite Add to More colors Personalized pet memorial stone - pet loss gift - pet memorial gift - mini to small size memorial … How you handle the grieving process can determine whether the experience has a positive or negative effect on your child’s personal development. Reach out to others who have lost pets. Does your pet still enjoy previously loved activities or are they able to be active at all? You may want to have a last day at home with the pet in order to say goodbye, or to visit the pet at the animal hospital. Stay connected with friends. At that time the owner of the pet feels helpless and very much disappointed. Children should feel proud that they have so much compassion and care deeply about their animal companions. It’s far better to be honest with children and allow them the opportunity to grieve in their own way. Try to find new meaning and joy in life. The loss of a pet may be your child’s first experience of death—and your first opportunity to teach them about coping with the grief and pain that inevitably accompanies the joy of loving another living creature. Is your pet facing certain death from the injury or illness? Keep your special friend in your heart and take solace in the happy memories, knowing you gave him/her such a good home. (ASPCA), Coping With the Death of Your Pet – Tips on how to cope when it’s time to say goodbye to a beloved pet. Cards & Stationery. For example, if your pet was a working dog, service animal, or therapy animal, you’ll not only be grieving the loss of a companion but also the loss of a coworker, the loss of your independence, or the loss of emotional support. Because of this, it's important to hang out with someone who has just lost a pet. Look after yourself. As we see throughout psychology, there is often no universal account that can be given for human behaviour and experience. Explain why the choice is necessary and give the child chance to spend some special time with the pet and say goodbye in their own way. This sense of illegitimacy can lead to an experience known as "disenfranchised grief." When some think of pet loss, they might simply think of a "pet" dying. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you’re ready. Some parents feel they should try to shield their children from the sadness of losing a pet by either not talking about the pet’s death, or by not being honest about what’s happened. A child may feel angry and blame themselves—or you—for the pet’s death. More than ever, people need a trustworthy place to turn to for guidance and hope. Within 24 hours, two celebrities took to Instagram to share their thoughts after losing a pet. To learn more about pet loss, including advice and links to support services, I recommend Adam Clark's blog on Psychology Today. Sometimes, in the midst of grief, it may seem easiest to leave the pet at the clinic for disposal. HELPGUIDEORG INTERNATIONAL is a tax-exempt 501(c)3 organization (ID #45-4510670). The loss of an amazing dog can’t be easy, and I’m here if you need comforting in this time of grief. Here are some of the reasons why the loss of a pet can be especially heartbreaking: 1. Trying to protect your child by saying the pet ran away could cause your child to expect the pet's return and feel betrayed after … Exercising in a group—by playing a sport such as tennis or golf, or taking an exercise or swimming class—can also help you connect with others. While there is strong evidence that animals can feel such loss for other animals, this article focuses on human feelings, when an animal is lost, dies or oth… Rituals can help healing. In the UK: Call the Pet Bereavement Support Service at 0800 096 6606. Welcome to Legacy.com’s grief support group for those who have lost a dog, cat, rabbit, bird, turtle, guinea pig, hamster, horse, or other beloved pet. Some friends and family may say, “What’s the big deal? It may be tempting to rush out and fill the void left by your pet’s death by immediately getting another pet. Here are some ways you can begin the healing process. Does your pet still interact and respond to love and care in the usual ways? The pain of loss can often feel overwhelming and trigger all sorts of painful and difficult emotions. Somehow the death of an animal does not seem a "legitimate" loss. Exhibiting these feelings doesn’t mean you are weak or your feelings are somehow misplaced. Is your family unanimous in the decision? Some shelters also accept such remains, though many charge a fee for disposal. Accept the fact that the best support for your grief may come from outside your usual circle of friends and family members. Whilst I went through a period of never leaving the couch, all of a sudden he started to join me on the couch, sleeping between my legs, always keeping me company. Many kids love their pets very deeply and some may not even … Losing a pet is a loss not easily accepted, and I wanted you to know how truly saddened I am to hear about your companion's passing. Prepare a legacy, Plant a tree or … You may be required to handle your own grief as well as help others in your family handle theirs. I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your wonderful dog. This can be overwhelming. Authors: Lawrence Robinson, Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Robert Segal, M.A. His health had been in decline this year, with no options for treatment, and it was up to my partner and I to decide when to let him go. Your family’s feelings. Spending time caring for pets in need is not only great for the animals, but can help you decide if you’re ready to own a new pet. Our pets see us through the many different transitions of our lives: childhoo… Pet Loss Support Groups can provide a safe and non-judgmental place for family members to go to be able to share their feelings and experiences whether it be before or after the loss of their beloved pet. Psychologists have explained this in terms of the lack of societal recognition of particular kinds of loss. Now when I am home alone I am genuinely by myself. The loss of that pet will leave a hole in their heart, and the owner may experience real grief. Many of us share an intense love and bond with our animal companions. Spend time face to face with people who care about you, eat a healthy diet, get plenty of sleep, and exercise regularly to release endorphins and help boost your mood. If you have already contributed, thank you. … Despair, guilt, and other emotions may also arise as your new reality of … Many kids love their pets very deeply and some may not even remember a time in their life when the pet wasn’t around. If your own friends and family members are not sympathetic about pet loss, find someone who is. While we all respond to loss differently, the level of grief you experience will often depend on factors such as your age and personality, the age of your pet, and the circumstances of their death. It’s important to talk about all their feelings and concerns. It can be difficult to cope after the death of a cat, dog, or any other pet you owned and cared for. It is this notion that leads well-intentioned others to ask if we plan to buy a new pet—seeming to suggest that the one we’ve lost … Losing a pet can be a traumatic experience for any child. Even when my partner was away for a week or more, I still had a feathered friend with whom to spend the evenings. If you’ve chosen euthanasia for your pet, be honest with your child. Donations make it possible for us to help millions around the world with empowering, trustworthy, and up-to-date information about mental health. The stress of losing a pet can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Our relationships with companion animals can be as significant as our human relationships. Loss of a Pet has 336 members. Do You Often Feel Disappointed in Your Relationship? Grief and loss are above all highly individual experiences, shaped by our personalities, among other factors. While experiencing loss is an inevitable part of owning a pet, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain, come to terms with your grief, and when the time is right, perhaps even open your heart to another animal companion. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, give them a call and listen. If you lived alone and the pet was your only companion, coming to terms with their loss can be even harder. The loss of a pet may be your child’s first experience of death—and your first opportunity to teach them about coping with the grief and pain that inevitably accompanies the joy of loving another living creature. In other countries: Visit Chance’s Spot to find support near you. Surviving pets can also experience loss when a pet dies, or they may become distressed by your sorrow. See a certified medical or mental health professional for diagnosis. Your choices for your pet should be informed by the care and love you feel for the animal. A funeral can help you and your family members openly express your feelings. Often, another person who has also experienced the loss of a beloved pet may better understand what you’re going through. Grieving the loss of a pet can feel isolating, but it doesn't have to be. Important things to consider include: Activity level. Sadly, the impact of the heartbreak of this type of loss is often downplayed or ignored by friends and family. Others are family. You can also choose to be present during your pet’s euthanasia, or to say goodbye beforehand and remain in the veterinary waiting room or at home. – Reach out to those who have experienced loss of a beloved pet, check out pet loss hotlines, pet loss support groups, and online message boards. Maintaining their daily routines, or even increasing exercise and play times, will not only benefit the surviving pets but can also help to elevate your mood and outlook, too. If you feel like you need help, don’t hesitate to ask. Losing a pet is like losing a good friend. While you’re grieving, your living pets are also experiencing the loss and absence of your pet and their companion. As we age, we experience an increasing number of major life changes, including the loss of beloved friends, family members, and pets. The loss of a cat or dog is painful because we are not losing just one pet; we actually experience multiple losses at the same time. In Canada: Visit Pacific Animal Therapy Society’s Grief Resources. It can’t be forced or hurried—and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. It’s okay to be angry, to cry or not to cry. Pets, dogs especially, can help seniors meet new people or regularly connect with friends and neighbors while out on a walk or in the dog park. Like grief for our friends and loved ones, grief for our animal companions can only be dealt with over time, but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain. Remembering the fun and love you shared with your pet can help you to eventually move on. So, when a cherished pet dies, it’s normal to feel racked by grief and loss. Support groups are a place where family members will meet others who understand what they are going through as many times your own family and friends may not completely … If taking care of an animal provided you with a sense of purpose and self-worth as well as companionship, you may want to consider getting another pet at an earlier stage. After more than 30 years as a practicing veterinarian, and many, many personal losses, I’ve learned some strategies that can help pet owners who are dealing with the loss of a beloved companion. Luke Smillie, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor and director of the Personality Processes Lab in the School of Psychological Sciences at the University of Melbourne. If you’re an older adult living alone, your pet was probably your sole companion, and taking care of the animal provided you with a sense of purpose and self-worth. Write about your feelings and talk about them with others who are sympathetic to your loss. Various facets of our situations and ourselves lead each of us to respond differently to loss, and to rely on different sources of support (in my case, episodes of Jeeves and Wooster proved indispensable). If you don’t experience the same sense of loss as your child, respect their grief and let them express their feelings openly, without making them feel ashamed or guilty. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. This too can make it hard to cope with the loss of a pet. We may also downplay our loss to ourselves, or feel embarrassed to take time off from work. Here are some suggestions: Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. You should feel sad, and your children can feel the sadness, but don’t mix guilt in with the sadness. The loss of a pet is a significant life event, particularly if the pet has been with your family for a long time. 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